Fat Girl Gone Thin

I’m not sure what it is that makes neurotic animals cute but neurotic people annoying.

Case in point: My mother’s cocker spaniel, Katie, has what can only be clinically defined as a “licking issue.” Often after a long nap, or simply while sitting on the couch, she will begin to lick the roof of her mouth, while simultaneously lifting her head, in an effort to remove some unforeseen food particle or perhaps merely to draw attention to herself.

This will continue for ten or fifteen minutes, at which point she will fall back asleep – only to wake up and begin the roof-of-mouth licking again.

In an effort to characterize this obsessive behavior, I have taken to calling this the “peanut butter syndrome” in relation to the human tongue-thrusting movement that often occurs after one has over-filled their PB sandwich and mouth-to-tongue gluing action has resulted.

This, of course, is not Katie’s only special attribute, as she is also prone to stealing socks from the laundry then running around the house, tossing them in the air with her nose, then pouncing on them like a cheetah. She also likes to wiggle across the carpet like a worm.

But because she is a dog, this is cute. Not weird.

Needless to say, when I decided to make a chocolate cake for my grandfather this weekend, and decided to use a peanut butter frosting, the result made me think of Katie and name this item the Rooftop Peanut Butter Cake.

In order to add some dramatic flare, I used four 6-inch cake pans to make this – with the result of a petite-sized high stacked cake. For some crunch, and the salty-sweet mix, I added crushed peanuts to the edges and drizzled chocolate down the sides.

Making the Cake:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup cold coffee
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons vinegar

Preheat oven to 350°.

Combine the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Add the eggs, coffee, milk, oil and vinegar. Mix until smooth and creamy. Pour into four 6-inch pans (make sure these are greased heavily).

Bake about 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

The Frosting:

• 1 cup peanut butter (crunchy kind is the best)
• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1/3 cup half-and-half
• 4 tablespoons of soft butter

Cream all ingredients together in your mixer and set aside. Keep at room temperature.

Putting it all together:

When the cakes have finished cooking, remove them from the pans and wrap in plastic wrap. Pop them in the freezer for two hours. When the cakes are almost completely frozen, remove them from the freezer and take off the plastic wrap. Place paper towels on the four corners of your cake plate and set one of the cakes in the center, making sure that no part of the plate is showing on the bottom (you will pull these sheets out after you have frosted the cake and added the peanuts, so you don’t have to worry about making a mess).

Place a large scoop of frosting in the center of the first cake and use a knife to spread it evenly across the top. Add another cake and repeat the process till all four cakes have been stacked. Now begin to SLOWLY spread the frosting over the top and sides of the cake tower. Because the cakes are partially frozen, you don’t have to worry about them crumbling as easily, but still be gentle. Don’t worry about appearances though, the peanuts will cover all of that up.

Using a rolling pin or food processor, crush a 12-oz. can of salted cocktail peanuts. Press these into the side and top of the cake, using your hand to press them firmly into the frosting so that they take hold.

Using a double boiler or a bowl over the top of a pan of simmering water, melt 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips. When melted, pour the chocolate into a sandwich-size Ziploc bag and use scissors to cut one corner of the bag. Make sure to keep this cut small. Gently tip the cake to the side and drizzle the chocolate down the sides, going in a circle, until you have gone around the cake.

Allow another hour for the cake to defrost completely – then serve it up with a big ‘ole glass of milk. Enjoy!

The Oscars are just a few hours away and in the spirit of the evening, I whipped up a few treats to make it painfully clear to my friends who I think should win best picture.

Chocolate coconut bird nests. In honor of Kevin from UP…

Now I’m off to watch the show.

There was a recipe that ran in the New York Times in the mid-1880s. It was for a recipe known simply as Chocolate Caramel.

“Take of grated chocolate, milk, molasses and sugar, each one cupful, and piece of butter the size of an egg …”

Hardly New York Times material these days, but at the time the recipe was a novelty. Like a 21st century duck confit, the use of chocolate in this dish was something that the ordinary housewife would have made a special trip to the store for – perhaps even ordered specially from the grocer.

Fast forward a century or two and the presence of chocolate has become a mainstay in our daily diet (well, at least in mine). Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Christmas. Take a trip to Costco this week and you can find an isle devoted entirely to chocolate – five pound heart-shaped boxes of the stuff to be exact.

Like a metaphor for love itself, chocolate is both bitter and sweet. And for me, when I want it sweet, I want it artificially-flavored mouth numbingly sweet and when I want it dark, I want it as bitter as an unripened lemon.

Tonight I will be attending a fundraising dinner for the Chamber of Commerce in my hometown. As with most small towns, Friday night gatherings are more like family reunions and the food plays second-fiddle to the people. Conversation will be hearty, pictures of children and grandchildren will surely emerge from many purses and most of all a sense of community will be fostered during an economic time when extra shoulders need to be leaned on.

Everyone was asked to bring a treat for the bake sale table in hopes that enough money will be raised to replace the city’s aging Christmas decorations – and with Cupid’s big day just hours away, it seemed only fitting to break out the chocolate and the red food dye.

Something about this holiday causes a gravitational shift in the universe that seems to draw Hershey’s Kisses to my mouth like a chain-smoking European, so it seemed only right to make sure whatever I made had a heavy dose of cocoa.

You can find the recipe for the brownie topped velvet cupcakes with buttercream frosting to the right under the recipe section. I hope it makes your Valentine’s day as sugar-induced as mine.